No [one can] know when [a husband] and wife have sex except those two, for marriage in this world is a mystery for those married. If defiled marriage is hidden, how much more is undefiled marriage a true mystery! It is not fleshly but pure. It belongs not to desire but to will. It belongs not to darkness or night but to the day and the light. If marriage is exposed, it has become prostitution, and the bride plays the harlot not only if she is impregnated by another man but even if she slips out of her bedchamber and is seen. Let her show herself only to her father and her mother, the friend of the bridegroom, and the attendants of the bridegroom. They are allowed to enter the bridal chamber every day. But let the others yearn just to hear her voice and enjoy the fragrance of her ointment, and let them feed on the crumbs that fall from the table, like dogs. Bridegrooms and brides belong to the bridal chamber. No one can see a bridegroom or a bride except by becoming one.

(55) Therefore God established the State of Wedlock with Adam and Eve, and bound it fast with a strong Chain, in that he said; A Man shall leave Father and Mother, and cleave to his Wife, and they two shall be one Flesh. And God tolerates their as one Body and its Members, and must aim (in the Fear of God) at the Getting of Children; or else the Wantonness [or Lust] in itself (without that true Love of the State of Wedlock) is continually a bestial Lust, [Infection,] and Sin. And if you (in the State of Wedlock) seek nothing but the Lust and Lechery, then in such a Condition, thou art not a Jot better than a Beast, And do but consider it rightly, that without this, thou standest [already] in a bestial Birth [or Generation,] contrary to the first Creation, like all Beasts. For the holy Man in Adam was not predetermined to have propagated so, but in great modest Love out of himself.

(56) Therefore, O Man, look to it! [have a care] how you use the bestial Lust; it is (in itself) an Abomination before God, whether it be in the State of Wedlock, or out of it. But the right Love and Fidelity (in the Fear of God) covers it before the Countenance of God; and (through the Sun of the Virgin) it is regenerated to be a pure undefiled Creature again, in the Faith, if thy Confidence be in God.

(35) But if he gives himself up to the Obedience of God, and yields his Mind up into God, to strive against Malice and Wickedness, and the Lusts and Desires of the Flesh, also against all Unrighteousness of Life and Conversation, in Humility under the Cross, then the eternal Mind figures him in the Image of an Angel, who is pure, chaste, and virtuous, and he keeps this Image in the Breaking of the Body, and hereafter he will be married with the precious Virgin, the eternal Wisdom, Chastity, and paradisical Purity.

(9) Concerning a certain saint it is related that his wife died and he would not marry again, though people urged him, saying it was easier to concentrate his thoughts in solitude. One night he saw in a dream the door of heaven opened and numbers of angels descending. They came near and looked upon him, and one said, "Is this that selfish wretch?" and his fellow answered, "Yes, this is he." The saint was too alarmed to ask whom they meant, but presently a boy passed and he asked him. "It is you they are speaking about," replied the boy; "only up to a week ago your good works were being recorded in heaven along with those of other saints, but now they have erased your name from the roll." Greatly disturbed in mind as soon as he awoke, he hastened to be married. From all the above considerations it will be seen that marriage is desirable.

(20) Regarding the Observances of Marriage

Marriage is a religious institution, and should be treated in a religious way, otherwise the mating of men and women is no better than the mating of animals. The Law enjoins that there should be a feast on the occasion of every marriage. When Abdurrahman Ibn Auf married, the Prophet said to him, "Make a marriage feast, even if you have only a goat to make it with." When the Prophet himself celebrated his marriage with Safia he made a

(2) This marriage is not like carnal marriage, in which those who make love with each other become satiated in their lovemaking. And as if it were a burden, they leave behind the annoyance of physical desire. They turn their faces from each other. In this marriage once they join they become a single life. As the prophet said about the first man and woman,

(34) Behold two young People, who have attained unto the that it be kindled, how very hearty, faithful, and pure Love they bear one towards another, where one is ready to impart the very Heart within them to the other, if it could be done without Death; this now is the true paradisical Blossom, and this Blossom qualifies, with the [one] Element and Paradise. But as soon as ever they take one another, and copulate, they infect one another with their a Inflammation [or burning Lust,] which is generated out of the outward Elements and Stars, and that reaches the Abyss; and so they are many Times at deadly Enmity [or have venomous spiteful Hatred] one against another. And though it happens that their Complexions were noble, so that still some Love remains, yet it is not so pure and faithful as the first before Copulation, which is fiery, and that in the Burning [or burnt] Lust, [is] earthly and cold, for that must indeed keep faithful while it cannot be otherwise; as it is seen by Experience in many, how afterward in Wedlock they hunt after Whoredom, and seek after the Devil's Sugar, which he strows in the noble Tincture, if Man will let him.

(1) Marriage plays such a large part in human affairs that it must necessarily be taken into account in treating of the religious life and be regarded in both its aspects of advantage and disadvantage.

(161) There the Bridegroom kisseth his bride: O gracious amiable blessedness and great love! how sweet art thou? How friendly and courteous art thou? How pleasant and lovely is thy relish and taste? How ravishingly sweet dost thou smell? O noble light and bright glory, who can apprehend thy exceeding beauty? How comely adorned is thy love? How curious and dainty are thy colours? And all this eternally! Who can express it?