Passages similar to: The Alchemy of Happiness — Marriage as a Help or Hindrance to the Religious Life
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Sufi
The Alchemy of Happiness
Marriage as a Help or Hindrance to the Religious Life (28)
If a man's wife be rebellious and disobedient, he should at first admonish her gently; if this is not sufficient he should sleep in a separate chamber for three nights. Should this also fail he may strike her, but not on the mouth, nor with such force as to wound her. Should she be remiss in her religious duties, he should manifest his displeasure to her for an entire month, as the Prophet did on one occasion to all his wives.
If she should not grant him his desire, he should bribe her. If she still does not grant him his desire, he should hit her with a stick or with his...
(6) If she should not grant him his desire, he should bribe her. If she still does not grant him his desire, he should hit her with a stick or with his hand., and overcome her, saying: becomes inglorious.
Chapter XIX: Women as Well as Men Capable of Perfection. (7)
The wise woman, then, win first choose to persuade her husband to be her associate in what is conducive to happiness. And should that be found...
(7) The wise woman, then, win first choose to persuade her husband to be her associate in what is conducive to happiness. And should that be found impracticable, let her by herself earnestly aim at virtue, gaining her husband's consent in everything, so as never to do anything against his will, with exception of what is reckoned as contributing to virtue and salvation. But if one keeps from such a mode of life either wife or maid-servant, whose heart is set on it; what such a person in that case plainly does is nothing else than determine to drive her away from righteousness and sobriety, and to choose to make his own house wicked and licentious.
Then, as giving admonitions, he says: "First, then, this is incumbent on her who is endowed with mind, That even if her husband be ugly, he must...
(7) Then, as giving admonitions, he says: "First, then, this is incumbent on her who is endowed with mind, That even if her husband be ugly, he must appear good looking; For it is for the mind, not the eye, to judge." And so forth. For with perfect propriety Scripture has said that woman is given by God as "an help" to man. It is evident, then, in my opinion, that she will charge herself with remedying, by good sense and persuasion, each of the annoyances that originate with her husband in domestic economy. And if he does not yield, then she will endeavour, as far as possible for human nature, to lead a sinless life; whether it be necessary to die, in accordance with reason, or to live; considering that God is her helper and associate in such a course of conduct, her true defender and Saviour both for the present and for the future; making Him the leader and guide of all her actions, reckoning sobriety and righteousness her work, and making the favour of God her end. Gracefully, therefore, the apostle says in the Epistle to Titus, "that the eider women should be of godly behaviour, should not be slanderers, not enslaved to much wine; that they should counsel the young women to be lovers of their husbands, lovers of their children, discreet, chaste, housekeepers, good, subject to their own husbands; that the word of God be not blasphemed." But rather, he says, "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: looking diligently, lest there be any fornicator or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel surrendered his birthright; and lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled." And then, as putting the finishing stroke to the question about marriage, he adds:
Chapter XVII: Passages From Clement's Epistle to the Corinthians on Martyrdom. (7)
"Let us direct our wives to what is good; let them exhibit," says he, "the lovable disposition of chastity; let them show the guileless will of their...
(7) "Let us direct our wives to what is good; let them exhibit," says he, "the lovable disposition of chastity; let them show the guileless will of their meekness; let them manifest the gentleness of their tongue by silence; let them give their love not according to their inclinations, but equal love in sanctity to all i that fear God. Let our children share in the discipline that is in Christ; let them learn what humility avails before God; what is the power of holy love before God, how lovely and great is the fear of the Lord, saving all that walk in it holily; with a pure heart: for He is the Searcher of the thoughts and sentiments, whose breath is in us, and when He wills He will take it away."
Now, when the monthly sickness comes upon any one's wife, for three days she should not drink from a metal cup, nor put on fresh clothes. Neither a...
(6) Now, when the monthly sickness comes upon any one's wife, for three days she should not drink from a metal cup, nor put on fresh clothes. Neither a low-caste man nor a low-caste woman should touch her. At the end of the three nights she should bathe and should have rice threshed,
Marriage to her was a calamity. To be subjected, then, to the passions, and to yield to them, is the extremest slavery; as to keep them in subjection...
(14) Marriage to her was a calamity. To be subjected, then, to the passions, and to yield to them, is the extremest slavery; as to keep them in subjection is the only liberty. The divine Scripture accordingly says, that those who have transgressed the commandments are sold to strangers, that is, to sins alien to nature, till they return and repent. Marriage, then, as a sacred image, must be kept pure from those things which defile it. We are to rise from our slumbers with the Lord, and retire to sleep with thanksgiving and prayer,- "Both when you sleep, and when the holy light comes," confessing the Lord in our whole life; possessing piety in the soul, and extending self-control to the body. For it is pleasing to God to lead decorum from the tongue to our actions. Filthy speech is the way to effrontery; and the end of both is filthy conduct.
Chapter XVIII: The Mosaic Law the Fountain of All Ethics, and the Source From Which the Greeks Drew Theirs. (7)
Further, it forbids intercourse with a female captive so as to dishonour her. "But allow her," it says, "thirty days to mourn according to her wish,...
(7) Further, it forbids intercourse with a female captive so as to dishonour her. "But allow her," it says, "thirty days to mourn according to her wish, and changing her clothes, associate with her as your lawful wife." s For it regards it not right that this should take place either in wantonness or for hire like harlots, but only for the birth of children. Do you see humanity combined with continence? The master who has fallen in love with his captive maid it does not allow to gratify his pleasure, but puts a check on his lust by specifying an interval of time; and further, it cuts off the captive's hair, in order to shame disgraceful love: for if it is reason that induces him to marry, he will cleave to her even after she has become disfigured. Then if one, after his lust, does not care to consort any longer with the captive, it ordains that it shall not be lawful to sell her, or to have her any longer as a servant, but desires her to be freed and released from service, lest on the introduction of another wife she bear any of the intolerable miseries caused through jealousy.
In fulfilling this obligation she is a helpmeet in the house and in Christian faith. And the apostle expresses the same point even more clearly as...
(108) In fulfilling this obligation she is a helpmeet in the house and in Christian faith. And the apostle expresses the same point even more clearly as follows: "To the married I direct, yet not I but the Lord, that the wife be not separated from her husband (and if she is separated, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband) and that the husband should not leave his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord: If any brother...," 'down to the words "but now are they holy." What have they to say to these words, these people who disparage the law and speak as if marriage were only conceded by the law and is not in accord with the New Testament? What reply to these directions have those who recoil from intercourse and birth? For he also lays down that the bishop who is to rule the Church must be a man who governs his own household well. A household pleasing to the Lord consists of a marriage with one wife.. "To the pure," he says, "all things are pure: but to the defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure, but their mind and conscience are polluted." With reference to illicit indulgence he says: "Make no mistake: neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor effeminate men nor homosexuals nor covetous men nor robbers nor drunkards nor revilers nor thieves shall inherit the kingdom of God. And we," who used to indulge in such practices, "have washed ourselves." 'But they have a purification, with a view to committing this immorality; their baptism means passing from se1f-control to fornication. They maintain that one should gratify the lusts and passions, teaching that one must turn from sobriety to be incontinent. They set their hope on their private parts. Thus they shut themselves out of God's kingdom and deprive themselves of enrolment as disciples, and under the name of knowledge, falsely so called, they have taken the road to outer darkness. "For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is holy, whatever is righteous, whatever is pure, whatever is attractive, whatever is well spoken of, whatever is virtuous, and whatever is praiseworthy, think on these things. And whatever you have learnt and received and heard and seen in me, this do. And the God of peace shall be with you."
He by whose preaching the world was entranced Was he who spake the two words, "O Humaira!" Though water prevails over fire in might, When the...
(21) He by whose preaching the world was entranced Was he who spake the two words, "O Humaira!" Though water prevails over fire in might, When the cauldron intervenes between these two, Apparently thou art the ruler of thy wife, like water; Such is the peculiarity of man, He cannot withstand animal desire; that is his failing. The Prophet said that women hold dominion Over sages and over men of heart, But that fools, again, hold the upper hand over women,
Now that the Scripture counsels marriage, and allows no release from the union, is expressly contained in the law, "Thou shalt not put away thy wife,...
(15) Now that the Scripture counsels marriage, and allows no release from the union, is expressly contained in the law, "Thou shalt not put away thy wife, except for the cause of fornication;" and it regards as fornication, the marriage of those separated while the other is alive. Not to deck and adorn herself beyond what is becoming, renders a wife free of calumnious suspicion. while she devotes herself assiduously to prayers and supplications; avoiding frequent departures from the house, and shutting herself up as far as possible from the view of all not related to her, and deeming housekeeping of more consequence than impertinent trifling. "He that taketh a woman that has been put away," it is said, "committeth adultery; and if one puts away his wife, he makes her an adulteress," that is, compels her to commit adultery. And not only is he who puts her away guilty of this, but he who takes her, by giving to the woman the opportunity of sinning; for did he not take her, she would return to her husband. What, then, is the law? In order to check the impetuosity of the passions, it commands the adulteress to be put to death, on being convicted of this; and if of priestly family, to be committed to the flames. And the adulterer also is stoned to death, but not in the same place, that not even their death may be in common. And the law is not at variance with the Gospel, but agrees with it. How should it be otherwise, one Lord being the author of both? She who has committed fornication liveth in sin, and is dead to the commandments; but she who has repented, being as it were born again by the change in her life, has a regeneration of life; the old harlot being dead, and she who has been regenerated by repentance having come back again to life. The Spirit testifies to what has been said by Ezekiel, declaring, "I desire not the death of the sinner, but that he should turn." Now they are stoned to death; as through hardness of heart dead to the law which they believed not. But in the case of a priestess the punishment is increased, because "to whom much is given, from him shall more be required."
The woman who, with propriety, loves her husband, Euripides describes, while admonishing,- "That when her husband says aught, She ought to regard him...
(1) The woman who, with propriety, loves her husband, Euripides describes, while admonishing,- "That when her husband says aught, She ought to regard him as speaking well if she say nothing; And if she will say anything, to do her endeavour to gratify her husband."
The most frequent, and apparently the most damaging, accusation brought against Mohammed is that of polygamy. Those who sincerely believe the harem...
(31) The most frequent, and apparently the most damaging, accusation brought against Mohammed is that of polygamy. Those who sincerely believe the harem to be irreconcilable with spirituality should with consistency move for the expurgation of the Psalms of David and the Proverbs of Solomon from the list of inspired writings, for the harem of Islam's Prophet was insignificant compared with that maintained by Israel's wisest king and the reputed favorite of the Most High! The popular conception that Mohammed taught that woman had no soul and could attain heaven only through marriage is not substantiated by the words and attitude of the Prophet during his lifetime. In a paper entitled The Influence of Islam on Social Conditions, read at the World's Parliament of Religions held in Chicago, in 1893, Mohammed Webb states the charge and answers it thus:
On the day of his death Mohammed told Fatima, his beloved daughter, and Safiya, his aunt: "Work ye out that which shall gain acceptance for you with...
(40) On the day of his death Mohammed told Fatima, his beloved daughter, and Safiya, his aunt: "Work ye out that which shall gain acceptance for you with the Lord: for I verily have no power with Him to save you in any wise." The Prophet did not advise either woman to rely upon the virtues of her husband nor in any manner did he indicate woman's salvation to be dependent upon the human frailty of her spouse.
Now, if one's wife have a paramour, and he hate him, let him put fire in an unannealed vessel, spread out a row of reed arrows in inverse order, and...
(6) Now, if one's wife have a paramour, and he hate him, let him put fire in an unannealed vessel, spread out a row of reed arrows in inverse order, and therein sacrifice in inverse order those reed arrows, their heads smeared with ghee, saying: — in-breath and out-breath (prdndpanaii) — you, so-and-so ' You have made a libation in my fire! I take away your sons and cattle — you, so-and-so! You have made a libation in my fire! I take away your sacrifices and meritorious deeds x— you, so-and-so ' You have made a libation in my fire! I take away your hope and expectation 1 — you, so-and-so! } Verily, he whom a Brahman who knows this curses — he departs from this world impotent and devoid of merit. There- fore one should not desire sport with the spouse of a person learned in sacred lore (srotriyd] who knows this, for indeed he who knows this becomes superior.
At the time when Zulaikha was enjoying her high rank and dignity she had Joseph put in prison, and told one of her slaves to give him fifty blows...
(2) At the time when Zulaikha was enjoying her high rank and dignity she had Joseph put in prison, and told one of her slaves to give him fifty blows with a stick. ' Strike him hard,' she said, 'so that I shall be able to hear his cries.' But this good man did not wish to hurt Joseph, so he took the skin of an animal, and said: 'When I beat it, cry out at each stroke.' When Zulaikha heard the cries she went to the cell and said: 'You are too easy with him, strike harder.' Then the slave said to Joseph, 'O radiance of the sun! If Zulaikha examines you and does not see any marks, she will punish me severely. Now, uncover your shoulders and brace up your heart and bear the blows. If you cry out from the blows she will take less notice of the marks.' Joseph uncovered his shoulders, the stick fell, and his cries went up to heaven. When Zulaikha heard him she went and said: 'It is enough, these cries have produced their effect. Before, his groans were nothing; now, they are very real.'
Chapter 13: Of the Creating of Woman out of Adam. The fleshly, miserable, and dark Gate. (20)
But there were no more Ribs nor Members broken from Adam; which appears by the Feebleness and Weakness of the Woman, and also by the Command of God, w...
(20) Therefore you must know for certain, that Eve was created out of all Adam's Essences. But there were no more Ribs nor Members broken from Adam; which appears by the Feebleness and Weakness of the Woman, and also by the Command of God, who said; Thy Will shall be in Subjection under thy Man [or Husband,] and he shall be thy Lord [or Ruler.] Because the Man is whole and perfect, except a Rib, therefore the Woman is a Help for him, and must help him to do his Work in Humility and Subjection; and the Man must know that she is very weak, being cut of his Essences; he must help her in her Weakness, and love her as his own Essences: In like Manner the Woman must put her Essences and Will into [the Essences and Will] of the Man, and be friendly towards her Man [or Husband;] that the Man may take Delight in his own Essences in the Woman; and that they two might be but one only Will. For they are one Flesh, one Bone, one Heart, and generate Children in one [only] Will, which are neither the Man's nor the Woman's alone, but of both together, as if they were from one only Body. And therefore the severe Commandment of God is set before the Children, that they should with Earnestness and Subjection honour their Father and Mother, upon Pain of temporary and eternal Punishment: Of which I will write concerning the Tables of Moses. Concerning the Propagating of the Soul. The Noble Gate.
A woman bore many children in succession, but none of them lived beyond the age of three or four months. In great distress she cried to God, and then...
A woman bore many children in succession, but none of them lived beyond the age of three or four months. In great distress she cried to God, and then beheld in a vision the beautiful gardens of Paradise, and many fair mansions therein, and upon one of these mansions she read her own name inscribed. And a voice from heaven informed her that God would accept the sorrows she had endured in lieu of her blood shed in holy war, as, owing to her sex, she was unable to go out to battle like the men. On looking again, the woman beheld in Paradise all the children she had lost, and she cried, "O Lord ! they were lost to me, but were safe with Thee!" This story is followed by anecdotos of Hamza going out to battle without his coat-of-mail, of the Prophet advising a man who complained of being cheated in his bargains to take time before completing them, and of the death of Bilal, Muhammad's crier, and by illustrations of the illusive nature of the world, of the difference between things self-evident and mere matters of inference, and between knowing a thing through illustrations and on the authority of others and knowing it as it really is in its essence. The difference between knowing a thing merely by similitudes and on the authority of others, and knowing the very essence thereof.
In the first week was Adam created, and the rib — his wife : in the second week He showed her unto him : and for this reason thej commandment was...
(3) In the first week was Adam created, and the rib — his wife : in the second week He showed her unto him : and for this reason thej commandment was given to keep in their defilement, for a male seven days, and for a female twice seven days.
The demonstration of these matters being concluded, let us - now quote all the Scriptures which oppose these heretical sophists, and show the right...
(71) The demonstration of these matters being concluded, let us - now quote all the Scriptures which oppose these heretical sophists, and show the right rule of continence that is preserved on grounds of reason. The man of understanding will find out the particular Scripture which deals with each individual heresy, and at the right time will quote it to refute those who teach doctrines contrary to the commandments. Right from the beginning the law, as we have already said, lays down the command, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife," long before the Lord's closely similar utterance in the New Testament, - where the same idea is expressed in his own mouth: "You have heard that the law commanded, Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say, Thou shalt not lust."9 That the law intended husbands to cohabit with their wives with self-control and only for the purpose of begetting children is evident from the prohibition which forbids the unmarried man from having immediate sexual relations with a captive woman. If the man has conceived a desire for her, he is directed to mourn for thirty days while she is to have her hair cut; if after this the desire has not passed off, then they may proceed to beget children, because the appointed period enables the overwhelming impulse to be tested and to become a rational act of will.
And, despite all thathe hath com- manded me, these two and twenty years my brother hath striven with me, and spoken frequently to me and said : ' My b...
(25) And, despite all thathe hath com- manded me, these two and twenty years my brother hath striven with me, and spoken frequently to me and said : ' My brother, take to wife a sister of my two wives' ; but I refuse to do as he hath done.